At least, my character is. In my play-by post RPG, which is going quite well. Very interesting chemistry between the characters, even though we aren't face-to-face.
I said I thought I would get more posts up as I got into a routine... I lied. When that routine becomes- Work, eat sleep, there's very little time for anything else.
And sadly, that's almost what it's become. I bought Starcraft 2 a week and a half ago, but I haven't made it past the loading screens. sad, right? It doesn't help that I don't sleep well after about 730 am, so i'm always tired. and here i am, with three posts in under 24-hours.
In my latest care package, I received six Steve McQueen(the original action hero) movies. None of which I have watched yet. I have, however, managed to read 3/4 of the way through Wild at Heart. It just rings a bell inside my soul. It speaks to everything that's been missing in my life, my existence. I can't wait, My parents are sending me the workbook that goes with it, so I can read through it again, hopefully getting more from it.
So, the dog 'show' was a hit, I have pictures up on facebook for everyone to look at. (oooh, shiney)
I've read almost every substantial article there is on the Mass Effect Wiki, and I really can't wait to get my xbox so I can play. It's a lot more streamlined, so it's quicker to play on that than on my computer. with all the loading and stuff, i mean. and all the games i have on my laptop are RTS, which are generally slower playing games anyway.
Given my recent posts, I'm re thinking the general purpose of my Road Trip next summer. I think I may spend more time out in the wilderness, and less time visiting friends. I dunno. We'll just have to see. Work goes on as usual, though we're getting closer and closer to my R&R. I really don't have that much time left here, when you think about it. We will likely be home by April 1st or very soon after. which, given, is almost a year from when i went to Fort Hood, but that means we're already over 100 days through with a 365 day tour. WHOOOHOOO! :D
Keep the Faith
-JK
8.15.2010
Useful things I can do.
Useful things I can do-
I can cook.
I can sew.
I can troubleshoot a computer.
I can make a bed. (trust me, the Army made sure of that)
I can change my own oil, sparkplugs and a couple other things.
I can perform rudimentary carpentry, electrical and plumbing work.
I can carry heavy objects.
Useful things I want to do-
I want to kill and clean an animal for food.
I want to successfully defend myself with my bare hands.
I want to build a house at least 50% on my own.
I want to spend a week in the wilderness with only what I can carry on my back.
I want to learn a trade.
I want to learn to use a lariat.
I want to kayak a 'whitewater' river.
These are just a few samples, but you are getting the picture. Think of the men we look up to. John Mclane. James Bond. Malcolm Reynolds. Jethro Gibbs. Jason Bourne. Maverick. Wolverine. Chuck Norris. Jet Li. Leeroy Jenkins. John 117. John Shepard. Jack O'Neill.
I'm sure you have your own, but how many of them are 'nice guys'? How many do you like because they have good table manners? Because they can vacuum? Because they can file a TPS report?
None. Zip. Zilch. Zed. Nadda.
And I believe there's a reason for that. I believe a man is instinctively drawn to those things that are Wild. Crazy. Dangerous. Things that require passion. Obsession. Things that will make you rough around the edges.
Who is with me?
-JK
I can cook.
I can sew.
I can troubleshoot a computer.
I can make a bed. (trust me, the Army made sure of that)
I can change my own oil, sparkplugs and a couple other things.
I can perform rudimentary carpentry, electrical and plumbing work.
I can carry heavy objects.
Useful things I want to do-
I want to kill and clean an animal for food.
I want to successfully defend myself with my bare hands.
I want to build a house at least 50% on my own.
I want to spend a week in the wilderness with only what I can carry on my back.
I want to learn a trade.
I want to learn to use a lariat.
I want to kayak a 'whitewater' river.
These are just a few samples, but you are getting the picture. Think of the men we look up to. John Mclane. James Bond. Malcolm Reynolds. Jethro Gibbs. Jason Bourne. Maverick. Wolverine. Chuck Norris. Jet Li. Leeroy Jenkins. John 117. John Shepard. Jack O'Neill.
I'm sure you have your own, but how many of them are 'nice guys'? How many do you like because they have good table manners? Because they can vacuum? Because they can file a TPS report?
None. Zip. Zilch. Zed. Nadda.
And I believe there's a reason for that. I believe a man is instinctively drawn to those things that are Wild. Crazy. Dangerous. Things that require passion. Obsession. Things that will make you rough around the edges.
Who is with me?
-JK
I want to be a man.
And I'm close. A lot closer than most.
I'm reading through Wild At Heart by John Eldredge, and learning what it means to be a man in the manner that god intended. But not just through this book, but also through much introspection that has taken place over the past couple months.
I often get asked why I feel the need to have a knife on my person almost 24/7. My usual response is that you never know when you might need it. But I've come to believe that my motivation lies more in a deep-seated desire to feel dangerous. This desire is also a part of the reason I will likely obtain a permit to carry a concealed weapon upon my return home.
I've felt 'off' for a long time. Like I was missing some integral part of myself. John put it this way- "I don't know when I died, but I feel like I'm just wasting oxygen." I rarely feel alive. the last time I really felt like I was alive, I was in California. Maybe it was the air, maybe it was the mountains. Or maybe it was because I was on an adventure- performing convoy training, training to clear buildings and other such tactical maneuvers.
For a long time I've wanted to take a walkabout, see other countries, do something crazy. This is part of the reason I'm going to Australia instead of coming home for my R&R. And why I'm going on a road trip(Likely alone) across the western states within a month of when I get home from Iraq. I plan to spend some time out in the wilderness, trying to find my heart. A man's heart.
Which is not to say we cannot be true men while living in the middle of a city. Only that current society wants us to be women. They want us to be nice, gentle, soft. And those things have their place. But we should not be those things all the time. Sometimes we have to do something crazy to get in touch with who we're really supposed to be.
I'm compiling a list, which I will share with you later, that a lot of you will find interesting. But for now, rest yourselves with this.
I want to fell a tree and cut it into firewood.
I want to hunt a deer and use it for food.
I want to spend a couple days camping somewhere where there's no one else for miles.
I want to stand on top of a mountain.
I want to build something. A table, a chair, a desk. Something.
I want to learn to defend myself with my bare hands.
I want to fight for something. I'm tired of sitting down and taking whatever comes my way. I want to stand up and say "No. This is important, and you can take it from my cold, dead fingers."
And last...
I want a name.
Not that my current one is bad, But if you look to the Bible, God has a habit of giving his men(and women)a new name. The name he made them for. the name he gave them before they were even born.
To quote Gladiator-
Commodus: Your fame is well deserved, Spaniard. I don't believe there's ever been a
gladiator that matched you... Why doesn't the hero reveal himself and tell us all your real name? You do have a name?
Maximus: My name is Gladiator.
(as he turns and walks away)
Commodus: How dare you show your back to me?! Slave! You will remove your helmet and tell me your name.
(Maximus turns and slowly removes his helmet.)
Maximus: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius;
Commander of the Armies of the North;
General of the Felix Legions;
Loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius;
father to a murdered son;
husband to a murdered wife;
and I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
Oh, to truly know who you are. That is what I long for.
Keep the faith
-JK
I'm reading through Wild At Heart by John Eldredge, and learning what it means to be a man in the manner that god intended. But not just through this book, but also through much introspection that has taken place over the past couple months.
I often get asked why I feel the need to have a knife on my person almost 24/7. My usual response is that you never know when you might need it. But I've come to believe that my motivation lies more in a deep-seated desire to feel dangerous. This desire is also a part of the reason I will likely obtain a permit to carry a concealed weapon upon my return home.
I've felt 'off' for a long time. Like I was missing some integral part of myself. John put it this way- "I don't know when I died, but I feel like I'm just wasting oxygen." I rarely feel alive. the last time I really felt like I was alive, I was in California. Maybe it was the air, maybe it was the mountains. Or maybe it was because I was on an adventure- performing convoy training, training to clear buildings and other such tactical maneuvers.
For a long time I've wanted to take a walkabout, see other countries, do something crazy. This is part of the reason I'm going to Australia instead of coming home for my R&R. And why I'm going on a road trip(Likely alone) across the western states within a month of when I get home from Iraq. I plan to spend some time out in the wilderness, trying to find my heart. A man's heart.
Which is not to say we cannot be true men while living in the middle of a city. Only that current society wants us to be women. They want us to be nice, gentle, soft. And those things have their place. But we should not be those things all the time. Sometimes we have to do something crazy to get in touch with who we're really supposed to be.
I'm compiling a list, which I will share with you later, that a lot of you will find interesting. But for now, rest yourselves with this.
I want to fell a tree and cut it into firewood.
I want to hunt a deer and use it for food.
I want to spend a couple days camping somewhere where there's no one else for miles.
I want to stand on top of a mountain.
I want to build something. A table, a chair, a desk. Something.
I want to learn to defend myself with my bare hands.
I want to fight for something. I'm tired of sitting down and taking whatever comes my way. I want to stand up and say "No. This is important, and you can take it from my cold, dead fingers."
And last...
I want a name.
Not that my current one is bad, But if you look to the Bible, God has a habit of giving his men(and women)a new name. The name he made them for. the name he gave them before they were even born.
To quote Gladiator-
Commodus: Your fame is well deserved, Spaniard. I don't believe there's ever been a
gladiator that matched you... Why doesn't the hero reveal himself and tell us all your real name? You do have a name?
Maximus: My name is Gladiator.
(as he turns and walks away)
Commodus: How dare you show your back to me?! Slave! You will remove your helmet and tell me your name.
(Maximus turns and slowly removes his helmet.)
Maximus: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius;
Commander of the Armies of the North;
General of the Felix Legions;
Loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius;
father to a murdered son;
husband to a murdered wife;
and I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
Oh, to truly know who you are. That is what I long for.
Keep the faith
-JK
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